Making Decisions

I recently received two invitations, one to take part in a music performance in Tehran and one being offered a free ticket to go to a music festival. I had been reading posts made on the yahoo study group for NTI that dealt with this very question and reading them was very helpful in looking at the whole decision making process.

With the first decision I felt guided not to take part in this performance. What then came to light was the fact that almost no one around me could understand my reason for not accepting the invitation. It seemed obvious to everyone else that it was a fantastic opportunity and that I might 'lose out' on future possibilities by 'turning down' this one. Well, I did get confused a couple of times by listening to the 'arguments' presented to me, including the one that 'sometimes you learn more by going ahead with something just to see what happens.' However, when I stopped to consider the options I knew I did not want to place my faith in the idea that it is possible to 'miss out' on something. I choose to believe that I am given everything that I need and I don't need to act from fear that I will lose out. The bottom line was that I didn't want any action I took to be from a place of fear. I knew that if I felt guided to go then I would be equally happy to carry out that action.

The second invitation I found more confusing because I didn't feel any guidance. I asked and asked what would be the best thing to do and didn't feel any sense that one would be better than another. This is just about the point where I realised that I was insisting that one option MUST be preferable to another!! Another lesson in mind watching. I then wrote that-

The one thing more important to me than any action taken by the body is to hear Your Voice, to know that I am Your Servant. It matters not where I go or what I do. My only desire is that I serve One Mind, that I am open to receive That of which fear cannot conceive.

At that point I was clear that it made no difference whatsoever whether I accepted the offer of the ticket or not. What mattered was that having made this decision I gave the resulting time over to the Holy Spirit to use that time to teach me what I need to learn. I got the understanding that Holy Spirit could teach me equally well whether the body went to the festival or did not go. I could put my faith in my teacher.

On the level of the thinking mind there appears to be the possibility of contradiction in my experience. The thinking mind would ask "How can it be true that guidance is real and also be true that it matters not what you do?" Well, it seems from my experience that the most important thing is Self Honesty; to look honestly, openly and without judgement at the thoughts arising in the mind in each and every situation. It is true that it matters not what I do, in the sense that the end is sure, we have already accepted the atonement. On the other hand, whilst there are still thoughts in the mind showing up in experience to 'prove' that separation is real, guidance can be very helpful.