It recently became clear to me that I had a desire for a change in form, in my 'work' situation. This was something that I would once have regarded as the first stage to making a decision. There would have been such thoughts as: I want a change in my job, now I need to decide the best way to go about that. What kind of job should I look for? Shall I stay in the same city? Is the money I earn an issue? etc. Once upon a time I would have failed to see the common thread prompting all of those questions- “What will make me happy?” This time when I saw a desire for an outward change I gave it wholeheartedly to the Holy Spirit. I stated that there was a desire for a change in form in my work situation but that I put no expectation whatsoever on how that change might manifest. I asked ONLY that this change might bring the opportunity to accept the atonement for myself. I knew that only THIS would make me happy! I asked in full confidence that Holy Spirit cannot fail to bring me the opportunity for greater alignment with the Mind of God. I realised that I didn't care about any of the questions that would usually have arisen. I don't care what kind of job it is as long as it helps me to accept the atonement. I don't care if I stay in the same place or not as long as it helps me to accept the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
As I did this there was no doubt in my mind that I was asking for something that I deserved. I knew that I was asking for something that I would want for EVERY human being on this planet. We deserve the Peace of God, we deserve to know that the message the Holy Spirit offers us is one that we want to learn. I knew that this prayer was not of the ego, I knew that I was acknowledging a thought which arose from form (a desire for change in my work situation) but that I was letting go of the need to control or judge that desire and surrendering the thought to the power of the Holy Spirit. I knew that I could put my faith in Holy Spirit to bring about a change that would aid me in my purpose of accepting only His thoughts in the mind. I also realised that Esther (the thinking mind) had no way to evaluate what kind of outward situation would be most helpful in order to facilitate the change of mind that I requested. Once again, it was entirely logical to hand over this request to Holy Spirit who sees all and knows all.
After surrendering in this way I realised that this prayer applied to absolutely everything that seemed to stem from a desire for change in form. What a joy to release the need to see this desire manifested in a particular form. I can't explain in words the experience of allowing desire and truly feeling that desire with every fibre of my being, knowing that "I ask not for form but only for content." For so long the mind had placed a veto on desire, judging it as wrong. What a joy to truly feel in every cell of the body that "It matters not what form it takes, I will recognise that which comes from the Mind of God and give it welcome in my heart."
- Esther Wilds
- Oxford, United Kingdom
- Having lived in the UK for the first 27 years Esther then spent 3 years living and studying music in Java during which time she started reading A Course In Miracles. This book came to her in answer to a question which she asked. Since finding these words she has come across the same message in many other places, see the links to websites below. Currently she is being guided to study NTI (The Holy Spirits Interpretation of the New Testament) and The Way of Mastery. Her intent is to put the ideas which she reads into practice reflecting with greater intensity the seamless source from which Love pours forth. It is her hearfelt desire to allow all that is unlike Truth, Love, Eternity to be seen in the healing light of Vision that it may be released into the nothingness from which it came.
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